Middle Way House in Greene County wants people to be prepared to stop stalking as soon as it starts and they’ve got some tips to help end stalking quickly.The National Center for Victims of Crime reports that one in 12 women and one in 45 men will be stalked in their lifetime, and nearly 1.4 million people are stalked each year in the United States.
It’s something than can, and does, happen in Greene County.
Christa Turpin, Middle Way’s Women’s Advocate in Greene County, says when stalking begins it may seem harmless but then it gets out of control.
Imagine that in one week, someone with whom you no longer have a relationship, has left a note on your car and called you twice. Perhaps you feel concerned, but would you consider this behavior stalking?
Toward the end of the week, this person approaches you outside of your place of work and then happens to see you at the grocery later that day. Is this considered stalking?
“Stalking occurs in a series of unwanted events that individually can seem harmless,” said Turpin. “Victims of stalking often feel pressure to overlook individual instances of unwanted contact until the frequency of stalking increases beyond control.”
The U.S. Department of Justice defines stalking as “a pattern of repeated and unwanted attention, harassment, contact or any other course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.”
This violation of boundaries can occur between strangers, but more commonly it occurs in established relationships: 77 percent of these female victims and 64 percent of male victims know their stalkers.
“Unfortunately, it is in intimate partner relationships that stalking is most violent,” said Turpin. “In cases of intimate partner murder, 76 percent of those victims have been stalked.”
Turpin says Middle Way House is trying to raise local awareness about stalking and says people need to talk about how to identify stalking and stop it before stalkers become violent.
“We can prevent violence in our lives and in the lives of others by recognizing what’s going on and taking precautions early,” said Turpin.
For more information, or if you feel you are in danger, Turpin says to contact the Middle Way House’s Greene County office at 384-8769 or call Middle Way’s 24-hour crisis line at (812) 336-0846.
Be prepared to stop stalking as soon as it starts with these tips.
These are some of the common behaviors of stalkers to help identify unwarranted contact, as well as tips to help end stalking quickly.
Theft of information
Stalkers often begin by gathering information about where you and your family and friends live and work, your daily routine and finances. Stalkers can approach your friends, acquaintances or family members to obtain this information, or they may try other avenues such as the post office, utilities, the BMV or a veterinarian’s office. Additionally, technology has made it easier to obtain information through online searches or track people using global positioning systems (GPS).
Nonviolent contact
Stalking may not seem initially like harassment. It may begin with seemingly harmless gestures: Calling occasionally, leaving a note, gift, letter, or sending an e-mail or text. If the victim does not respond to these advances, contact can become more volatile. Stalkers may call repeatedly and hang-up, leave angry messages, or begin sending hate mail or dead animals or flowers. At this point, stalkers may begin observing or visiting a victim at their place of work, home or anywhere they may frequent.
Violent or threatening contact
Though stalkers with a history of violent behavior are most likely to act violently, you should be aware that even those without records of violent behavior are capable of physically or emotionally abusing you. This violence can take place initially in the form of vandalism of your personal property, but could eventually escalate to physical violence. Vandalism is typically a deliberate attempt to demonstrate the stalker has violated your space — he or she may rearrange, destroy or steal significant items in your house or car to hint to their presence.
Statistically, stalking cases have become physically violent in less than 25 percent of cases, but this number does not account for the undue emotional or financial stress victims can experience. Many victims suffer from depression or other anxiety related illnesses, miss work, or in 11 percent of cases, move houses or cities.
Being aware of your rights and options can help prevent the escalation of stalking into physical or emotional violence. In many states, stalking is not taken seriously by law enforcement officials until there is evidence of physical harm, but you can protect yourself and expedite the legal process by following these steps:
Set boundaries early
Being direct and clear is not rude or unkind, and you have the right to set personal boundaries in your relationships. If someone disrespects those boundaries, you also have the right and responsibility to tell them that their behavior is inappropriate. The simplest and often most effective way to do this is to recount what you witnessed them do and the negative effect this has on you. You might say, “I felt uncomfortable when you sent me five e-mails yesterday.” If these conversations do not discourage the individual from contacting you, do not be afraid to state clearly and directly that you no longer want to be contacted or watched by that person.
Trust your instincts and document unwarranted contact
Because many incidences of stalking might seem harmless, it is important to document any suspicious activity, even those that make you only slightly uncomfortable. In notebook or journal, write down every unwarranted contact with or sighting of the individual. Log and save phone messages, texts, voicemails and instant messenger conversations, and print off any e-mails. Photograph any acts of vandalism. These observations can help you build a solid case against an individual should you need to contact law enforcement officials or pursue legal action.
Call 9-1-1 if you ever feel you are in physical danger
If you have reason to believe you will be physically harmed, call the police immediately. You have the right to be safe.
